matrix theology

Summer camp – This must have been around 1986 or 1987, although the exact year escapes me. My parents used to drop my sisters and me off on Monday and do whatever parents do when their kids aren’t around until Friday. I remember the musty A-frame cabins and counselors who looked forever old but were probably only in their early 20’s.

And then there was chapel. Two or three times a day, our counselors would lead us into the open-walled pavilion. There would be skits and some songs before the preacher for that day got up. Inevitably, the preacher would tear into us about some sin or another – usually drinking or dating. For some reason, dating and sex were the prevalent topic of virtually every passage in Scripture.

As the speaker was getting fired up and animated, it would occur to me that God must be more interested in the summer than anything other season. He must have a pretty busy schedule from June to August, dropping in for all those chapel services at the various Christian camps throughout the world. Conversions and “rededications” were more common than summer crushes, which was pretty impressive since virtually every one of my friends came home with a new girlfriend every year.

Eventually, we stopped going to summer camp. (If I remember correctly, it was because the camp decided to allow girls to wear pants, and that outrages my dad and his pastor friends.) But the last year that we went, I came face to face with something that really bothered. It bothered me so much that I didn’t even know it bothered me until years later.

I don’t remember what the preacher was harping on, but he was being very effective…I think. What I do remember is that when he was finished, he asked us to bow our heads and close our eyes. Then he began presenting an invitation to commit to something or other. I hadn’t been paying too much attention, but obediently and submissively I bowed my head. Not quite so obediently and submissively, I did not close my eyes.

As I mused on the shape and texture of the various small rocks on the ground before me, people began standing up and moving forward. Then there was more standing up and moving, and still more. A friend (I forget his name) and I just sat there with our heads down. Nothing that had been said had really moved or impressed me, so I quietly, obediently and submissively sat there with my head down.

Then someone tapped me on the shoulder. One of the counselors was sitting in the row in front of us, and he was gesturing toward the front. I hazarded a glance around the pavilion and realized that we (my friend and I) were literally the only kids still in our seats. Everyone else was up front committing to something or other.

I looked at him; he looked at me. Then we looked at the counselor, shrugged and then put our heads down. I think the counselor wanted us to go up and do something, but why? How could I go commit to something when I couldn’t even name whatever I was supposed to be committing to? It would have been a lie, which apparently didn’t bother my counselor but bothered me quite a bit.

In fact, there have been few times in my life when I’ve been swayed by someone speaking. Although this is ironic since I am a church leader and make my living trying to sway people by speaking, I don’t think my resistance has to do with the speaking as much as it has to do with what is being said and asked of me.

This sounds incredibly prideful, and I’ve rewritten this paragraph a dozen times trying to make it sound humble, but I can’t do it. Here’s what sounds prideful – I think I’ve heard every sermon there is about a bazillion times. As a pastor’s kid who was sometimes in church five or six times a week, attended revival meetings, camp meetings and Christian life seminars, and then went to Bible college and seminary, I have been around enough preaching for three lifetimes. Here is the lowdown on Christian sermons:

Topic #1 – Get Saved. You’re a sinner and need to trust Jesus. Do it now or you’re going to hell.

Topic #2 – Get Right. You’re a Christian but still a sinner. Get holy and stop doing whatever it is that you’re doing or your life is going to be hell.

Topic #3 – Get Excited. You’re a Christian but you’re not doing enough. As I give you statistics, verses or just a round verbal assault, you need to be happy about doing whatever needs doing. If you don’t do it, you’re sending people to hell.

It always bothered me that preaching was a form of verbal abuse in which you were always being told what to do. Rarely did a preacher just say, “Hey, great job!” Instead, we were always being challenged or invited or corrected.

You know what? It wasn’t that summer camp preacher’s fault that I found gravel more interesting than his challenge to do something or other. It was just that even though I was probably only ten or eleven years old, I already had this preaching thing figured out.

The gig is simple – give the Christian people what they want. For some reason, most Christians expect preaching to fix things. If you just say it loud enough or long enough, people will change. It is like the Christian community somehow collectively decided to bore the hell out of each other. We try to talk ourselves into the Kingdom and out of this present world.

This is probably why I avoid this type of preaching whenever possible. I just don’t think that genuine message-sharing is about all of this morality stuff. Instead, it is about sharing your faith journey with others and seeing them move on their own.